Stuff I Like - September Edition
a high maintenance girl who thinks she's low maintenance.
I’ve been trying to be a bit more erm…fiscally responsible these days as I navigate this new, non-working era. It’s been a bit of a challenge mentally as I’ve spent the last 20 years of my life essentially shopping for a living. There really is no better feeling than finally splurging on something I’ve had my eye on for months (or even better, finding it on sale!), having it arrive at my door and absolutely loving it. To be real, it’s not that there is no money being earned in this house, it just isn’t money necessarily being earned by me. And also let’s be serious I’m not actually not ‘non-working’ as I am the primary caretaker in our family, but I am in a place of ‘non-earning’ as 100% of the work done by mothers at home is 100% unpaid. But this feeling of ‘non-earning’ is a foreign one to me as (since legally being able to do so) I’ve always earned and been fortunate enough to be in a position (minus some big expenses in college, thank you Mom, Dad and Grandparents) to be able to financially sustain myself. It’s difficult to feel like the money still coming through the door is ‘our’ money as I wasn’t the one doing to the work that earned the income, even though I am the one doing the support work behind the scenes to make that income possible. Make sense?
All this to say, I’m trying to reduce my personal spending to just the baseline products required to keep me feeling like a human. Some of those products might be clothing, but most of them fall under the ‘personal care’ category. What I’ve realizing in doing so is that I require a fair bit of upkeep. Like the pickiest houseplant that requires not only water once a week but also special food and a strategically placed light source to essentially just exist.
Ironically I consider myself fairly low maintenance, which I’ve always prided myself on…as if being high maintenance is bad and low maintenance is good (eye roll). Apparently the idea of ‘high maintenance’ was introduced into pop culture via ‘When Harry Met Sally’ when Harry tells Sally she’s the worst kind of maintenance because she’s high maintenance but think she’s low maintenance. I don’t actually believe one or the other should really be the gold standard. What the idea of ‘maintenance’ is really, is the baseline bare minimum of care needed to maintain a sense of one’s self.
What I’m also realizing is that children, especially toddlers, require quite a bit to maintain their baseline as well. There’s always something new to buy - a whole new wardrobe every 3-6 months, toys/teethers/bottles, diapers, etc - and apparently that doesn’t really slow down any time soon. Now Dougie needs more clothes because he’s playing outside and painting and things just don’t look nice for as long. More toys because he’s awake longer and home more often. Baby dishes upgraded to toddler plates…so on and so forth.
So for my September edition of S.I.L…here some of the products required for a baseline level of humanity in our house right now :
Needed Vitamins : I started taking Needed Vitamins while pregnant with Dougie when a nutritionist suggested I switch over to their prenatal. I now have a monthly subscription to pretty much everything and I love that their products are all created specifically for women. Their women’s multivitamin is fantastic and helps me feel less guilty about eating yogurt and granola for lunch 90% of the time.
OSEA facial products : I was forced to clean up by skin care products when I first got pregnant with Dougie as I’d been using Kiehl’s for years and suddenly all of their products were too harsh. I switched over to OSEA at the recommendation of a friend and love them. If you also want to be reminded of how expensive it is to maintain a baseline level of ‘feeling like a human’ run out of literally every skincare product you own at once.
Salt & Stone everything : Now that I’m no longer forced to run before the sun is up, I’ve been looking for a mineral based sunscreen I don’t hate wearing. Ideally one for my face that I can wear daily and won’t sweat off, along with something for my body that rubs in easily and doesn’t leave a white film. When I first tried Salt & Stone’s lightweight daily sunscreen I wasn’t totally sold as initially it felt a little heavy and left my face looking a little oily. However, 15 minutes later I couldn’t even tell I had it on. Sold.
A fresh haircut + all the products required to keep it up : Back in May, when I was first laid off I had what best can be described as ‘sad girl hair’. It had been about 7 months since my last haircut and I was torn between letting it grow and chopping it all off. Something about my hair felt like a physical interpretation of how I was feeling emotionally : neglected and tossed aside. I booked a hair appointment and
debatedlanguished about what to do with it. I even talked to my therapist about it the week prior to which she bluntly advised without hesitation : ‘cut it off’. Her point being that I needed to do something that reconnected me to my sense of self. And at my core, I am a short hair girl. Not like pixie short (maybe someday), but like micro bob short. I like that it’s short but I still feel feminine and that it’s easy. It’s the ultimate wash and go for me because I’m low maintenance.The thing about my hair is that it never really has been the same since having Dougie. It’s a lot drier and frizzier than it used to be, which could be post partum weirdness, the hard water in SF or the fact that I bleach it to hide the greys. Probably all of the above but I have found that my hair is significantly happier and less dry ever since I switched from regular shampoo to New Wash. I go back and forth with how often I wash it but I think for me every other day is the best. With running I get sweaty and by day three I start to feel a bit feral.
Birkenstock EVA Bostons : When I was a teenager my mom and I had a line in the sand : she was (and forever will be) team Birkenstock while I was adamant that team Doc Martens was where it was at. My mom won and about 10 years ago I converted to team Birks and haven’t looked back (although I do wish I had some of those Docs from my teen years). I’ve chilled out on purchasing new Birks as they basically last forever, and they are the first things I change into post run. The best feeling after a trail run is getting to my car and switching out my run shoes for a pair of birks. It’s like a giant sigh of relief that a) I made it back to my car and b) my feet are happy.
Matt and I are leaving for a fast 5 day trip to Italy next week and much to my dismay the forecast is calling for rain. I’m hoping that changes because I have high hopes of la dolce vita-ing in shorts and sandals outside with a
glassbottle of wine. Luckily Instagram did me a solid as it suggested a reel to me the other day where an influencer was talking about how excited she was to wear garden clogs this fall. I realized I had said garden clogs and while they’re a little clunky for me to pack and rely on for a 5 day holiday, Birkenstock EVA Bostons are way slimmer and the perfect rain shoe that also : doesn’t require socks.
Lalo : Having a small child is the equivalent to basically burning cash as there are so many things that they need at various stages of their little lives that something always was just purchased or needs to be purchased. I’ve used Lalo for all of Dougie’s dining needs (he’s very fond of their utensils and also flipping their plates). The high chair was amazing and when he let us know on Thanksgiving (via a full blown meltdown as we were sitting down to dinner) that he suddenly hated it, I was able to order a kit to convert it to a booster seat so at Christmas we all had a much more enjoyable meal. Pro-tip : order the high chair plus the booster kit at once to avoid the same fate.
They have a lot more items on their website now and I recently upgraded from the first bites kit to the big bites kit. He’s gotten very into drinking out of glasses and silicone is much more toddler friendly than a cocktail glass (the only glass we had small enough for tiny toddler hands). They also have products that extend beyond mealtime including this bath kit that would have been great when Dougie was a baby. I actually might order him some new bath toys as well as this step stool so he can finally reach the sink.
He doesn’t quite understand the chopsticks but they’re great to pull out if we need to extend dinner time at the table. He loves his booster seat and it is now known as ‘dougie’s chair’. Everything related to cars + trucks : Despite my efforts to avoid anything overly gendered or push stereotypical ‘boy’ toys on Dougie, he has developed a love of basically anything with wheels. This includes (but isn’t limited to) : cars, trucks, buses, trains (Muni) and bikes. Also things he knows the words for and likes to point out whenever he sees them in the street. Our house faces a busy-ish street that is also a bus route so if we ever need to find some low stakes activity that will occupy 100% of his attention while giving mom and dad a much needed break, we’ll go ‘watch the people’ out of our window. Sometimes this means saying ‘hi people’ and most times it means screaming out ‘bus! red car! fire truck!’
alongside his love of anything with wheels is a growing collection of toys that also feature, you guessed it : wheels. i love these wooden cars for him by a brand called Bajo. they’re perfectly sized for his little hands and v durable. they aren’t exactly bath friendly, but luckily he also loves these cars by green toys. i don’t usually buy him plastic toys (simply because i think the wooden ones look nicer?) but these are nice and big and made from recycled milk cartons. Fall dressing : Full disclosure I don’t love fall. I’m not a fan of pumpkin spiced anything, Thanksgiving isn’t my favorite holiday (although I do love me a Turkey Trot) and the shifting light and cooling temps just remind me that my favorite season (summer) is behind us. Fall to me is always a layover to winter and I really, really dislike winter as I really, really dislike being cold. In SF the traditional ‘fall’ months of September and October are actually when we have our warmer, summer like temps…something I spend my the months of June - August eagerly awaiting.
The one thing I did always look forward to every August was back to school shopping. That time of year when I got a whole new wardrobe of my choosing. If I were still working in a traditional office environment I would 100% abate my sorrow over summer’s end and use the changing of the seasons to invest in a few key pieces to bring me joy.
left to right : i’ve been very into finding the perfect barn jacket. this one’s from Toteme but how great would a vintage one be. catbird tennis bracelet : i’m not a big diamonds girl but i love how delicate this is. i wouldn’t purchase it for myself but it would make a fantastic wedding anniversary present (*cough*cough*) j crew shrunken cashmere sweater so basic what’s not to love. these mary jane sneakers might need to be purchased because how cute with jeans or sweats? wrangler x staud jeans - i’m obsessed. Love this easy denim popover and even better w these camo cargos. also might need to purchase as these look like they’d be great couch pants. finally, who hasn’t gotten sucked into the mesh flat trend? love that these feel more classic and less ‘the row mesh sock flat’.
Any products on your list of ‘things that keep me feeling human’ that might also need to be on mine? LMK. And no shade if one of those things might be pumpkin spice.
*k